


The (not much of a) Christmas Tree

by Wind_Writes



Series: Geralt & Yennefer’s 12 Days of Ficmas [1]
Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
Genre: A Christmas Bush, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Charlie Brown Christmas Tree, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Tree, Domestic Fluff, Dorks in Love, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Geralt Is A Secret Penny Pincher, Idiots in Love, Love, Petty couple fight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:40:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27820882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wind_Writes/pseuds/Wind_Writes
Summary: Geralt brings home a Christmas bush and Yennefer is accused of being a shapest.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg
Series: Geralt & Yennefer’s 12 Days of Ficmas [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2035855
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	The (not much of a) Christmas Tree

**Author's Note:**

> Day 1 of 12: Tree

Wiping the dust from another Christmas box on her pants, Yennefer chanced a glance out the front window in hopes of seeing Geralt finally returning with the Christmas tree. He’d gone out hours ago with a promise to bring back only the best, but as the clock ticked another hour gone, Yennefer was beginning to think she’d be outlining a tree against the living room wall and decorating that.

In the time it had taken him to, apparently grow and cut down the Christmas tree, she’d managed to pack out all the boxes, put the candles in the windows, decorate the mantle and even untangle the lights and tinsel.

She was just about to start digging in the garage for the outside decorations when the rumbling of a familiar car echoed down the street.

Coming to the driveway just as Geralt climbed from behind the wheel, she left a fleeting kiss on his lips. 

“What took you so long,” Yennefer asked.

Geralt shrugged, a smile on his lips as he reached up and untied his prize from the roof of the car. “Took me a while to find what I was looking for.”

Eyeing it anxiously, Yennefer watched as Geralt maneuvered the tree to the ground and cut the twine that kept the branches in place.

Proud as a peacock, he fluffed the branches and shook the tree slightly, wanting to make sure Yennefer got the full effect.

“What do ya think?” 

Yennefer’s violet gaze lazily roamed over what Geralt said was a Christmas tree before settling on the man that held it. “What,” she drawled, “is that?”

“It’s a tree.” Golden gaze jumping from his ebony haired partner to the vegetation beside him and back again, Geralt’s brows furrowed in confusion. “Why, what’s wrong with it?”

“What's wrong-“, Yennefer huffed in frustration and moved to inspect the pitiful looking shrub. 

It was short, far shorter than any Christmas tree she’d seen, and it’s color closer matched that of an army jeep than an evergreen. It was squat in shape, looking more like a pear than an elegant towering fir, and it had a particular odor that reminded her of a cat box and not the winter fresh candles that adorned their living room.

By all intents and purposes, it was nothing more than a landscape bush.

“This,” she said, picking at one of the bushy branches for emphasis, “is not a tree.”

Geralt snorted at Yennefer, unconvinced by her appraisal. It was green, it was tree like, it was with the rest of the Christmas trees and, best of all, it had been half price.

“Of course it’s a tree. It was on a tree lot,” he scoffed. Geralt was a lot of things, but stupid wasn’t one of them. He knew what a tree was.

“Geralt,” Yennefer said, fingers pinching the bridge of her nose in irritation, “if I am taller than it, how can you consider it a tree.”

Unfazed, the witcher shrugged, giving his new purchase a fond once over. “So it’s a tree for apartment people. It’s still a tree.”

“Christmas trees are usually shaped like triangles. This is shaped like a circle,” she countered.

The height wouldn’t be such a big deal to her if it was shaped like a tree, with its perfect A-farm look and pretty deep green needles, but this thing didn’t even have that going for it.

Of all the ridiculous arguments he was expecting, the shape of the tree was not what he’d been prepared for. Geralt watched her wearily.

It was probably a trap to wander down this rabbit trail without not knowing what exactly she had in store, but the possibilities of where this could end up were endless and he could not help himself.

“What do you have against circles?” Geralt asked.

“Nothing, unless they are supposed to be triangles,” Yennefer growled, her irritation with his purchase unable to be curbed.

Geralt considered her for a moment and then a sly grin crept across his face. “So you’re a shapest now.”

Yennefer stared at him blankly, unsure if she’d actually heard what she thought she had. “I’m a what?”

“A shapest”

Yennefer could feel her blood pressure rising, the warmth spreading up her neck and sure sign she was reaching the end of her rope. “That’s not even a real word.”

It took all of Geralt’s self control not to start laughing as color crept along Yennefer’s skin. It had been a long time since he had been able to wind her up this much and he would be a fool if let the opportunity pass.

Doing his best not to give away his amusement, Geralt pressed on. “You hate our little tree because it doesn’t conform to society's box of what a tree should be. You’re a shapest.”

Yennefer ground her teeth together, her words barely audible. “Would you stop calling me that.”

Far more amused than he should be, Geralt looked methodically at the tree for a moment and then back at Yennefer, a smile on his lips. 

“Would you prefer a tree sexist,” he teased. 

Buryingher face in her hands, Yennefer groaned. She thought she had been prepared for every argument the holiday season could throw at her, but at no point did she think fighting about what their Christmas plant was classified as would make the list.

“Please stop calling it a tree,” she murmured into her hands.

Confused, Geralt looked at the tree and back at the exasperated sorceress. “Then what am I supposed to call it?”

“I don’t know.” At her wits end, Yennefer threw her hands up in defeat. “A bush.”

“A bush,” Geralt echoed.

Figuring it was better than nothing, Yennefer rolled with it. “Yes, call it our Christmas bush.”

Unsure if she was turning the corner, Geralt eyed her through slitted lids. “And if I do that, you’ll let me keep it?”

“It's not like we have much of an option,” she seethed. 

They already had the damn bush at the house so there was no point in buying a different one.

“Yen.” Geralt warned, his tone eerily calm.

“Ok, yes,” she conceded. “If you call it a bush I’ll let you keep it.”

“And you’ll treat it like you would any tree,” he countered. 

Feeling utterly ridiculous for having an argument about a plant in the middle of their driveway, Yennefer hung her head. She just wanted the damn thing inside before the neighbors started getting too curious.

“Geralt, it’s a Christmas decoration. It will be in the living room for three weeks,” she ground out. 

“Promise me, Yen.” His golden eyes held her gaze, the hard set of his jaw resolute. “Promise me you will treat our Christmas bush like you would any other Christmas tree.”

Defeated, Yennefer raised her hand in promise. “Scouts honor.”

Watching her for a moment more, Geralt nodded. Satisfied she’d keep her word, he hefted the slack greenery onto his shoulders and marched towards the front door, intent on finding the best angle to display their Christmas bush so Yennefer wouldn’t be tempted to light the thing on fire. 

**Author's Note:**

> Here we go! Day 1 of the 12 Days of Ficmas and thought we’d start out with the old stand by “Charlie Brown Christmas Tree” trope.


End file.
